bullying

• How to Deal With Bullies

Part 1 of 3: Developing Coping Mechanisms

1-  Show minimal reaction to their bullying.
Do not show the bullies that you feel hurt and they've succeeded in affecting you; just walk away

Bullies gain satisfaction from making others feel hurt or uncomfortable, so reacting to them will only encourage them further.

You cannot talk sense to an irrational person. Walk away with dignity, saying you have better things to do with your time.
If it continues, stand up for yourself.

2- Feel your inner strength
beware the deliberate attempt to belittle you and cause you to feel weak.
Sometimes we think they can take everything we have as a person away from us.

3-Work your way around the bullies
Try and avoid them in school and social situations
Try your best to avoid them but don't show that you are avoiding them

4-Do not make jokes at your own expense to try to prove that there is nothing that the bully can do to hurt your feelings.
This will only please the bully, and they will often chip in with their own ridicule and humiliation to lower your self-esteem
You're just sinking to their level with the target still being yourself.

5- Reflect an insult back to a verbal attacker
If accomplished in public, this can elicit laughter from surrounding peers or victims at the bully's expense. This is a bully's worst nightmare, as they are de-throned from their position of power over you.

Avoid insulting the bully if they have a history of physically bullying you, since this instigates a conflict you can't win. Instead of exacerbating the situation, walk away

6-Outsmart the bully. Bullies usually aren't very smart or witty, so you can use this to your advantage.

Laugh at everything they say, and the worse the insult, the harder you should laugh.
This is undeniably frustrating to bullies, because they want you to cry, not laugh.
Scream a quote at the top of your lungs to their face
The bully might be so surprised that you can cause laughter or, at a minimum, get away. If they think you're crazy, that's okay too!

Part 2 of 3: Building Your Own Strength

4-Develop a deep understanding of yourself (and how great you are).
Know what you want and what you're capable of. This self assurance can be helpful when dealing with verbal bullies, as their words of insult won’t reach your core.
Verbal bullies usually require an audience when dishing out insults and their words are rarely based on what's true but rather what's catchy.

Try to overcome the rumors:
tell everyone it's not true and that the bully just wants attention.
Turn the negative spotlight back onto them.
Point out their bullying tendencies and how incredibly insecure and unhappy they must be to have to pick on others.

These insults and the way this person is treating you has nothing to do with reality, nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them
This is their insecurity and unhappiness showing through.
When they're done with you, they'll likely move onto someone else.

5-Don’t be tempted to bully back
The last thing you want to do is to sink to the bully’s level.
While you should definitely point out why they’re bullying and find holes in their argument, never, ever, ever resort to behavior like theirs
That’s just another way of giving them power.
It makes you as bad as them.

if you do, you're about to get in much as trouble as they are.
If things do get crazy and the appropriate authorities get involved, no one would know who the actual bully is – you or them.

Part 3 of 3: Preventing the Cycle

1-Recognize the type of bully you and others are dealing with
some abuse physically, others verbally, while others play mind games and toy with you emotionally.
Many bullies use a combination of these strategies.

Is this person a name-caller, someone who insults you verbally? Taunting bullies are verbally abusive (calling names, making jokes, teasing, etc.)

Does the person pretend to be your friend, but then makes fun of you in front of others without warning?
This is just one type of emotional bullying
Others include threatening to hurt or break something you care about, doing something to cause you to be ridiculed or telling lies about you to other people to try and make them hate you.
Indirect bullies, sometimes known as backstabbers or gossip-mongers, spread rumors, exclude others, and harass their victims whenever possible.

Tips
Some bullies might just be jealous of you. They only bully you because you have a great talent that they don't have
Remember that bullies can't hurt you
They just want to show that they're powerful, even though they show just the opposite: they are cowards
Really powerful people show their power in other ways, not by humiliating others that are "weaker" than them
Stay calm at all times, as this will puzzle and frustrate a typical bully at their attempts to elicit a negative reaction.
maybe they're jealous because you have these advantages over them.
Use this to help de-escalate the situation by avoiding these topics when you're near them, and when you get sad, remember all the things you're better at than them.
Don't take anything bullies say to heart – they are not worthy of your tears!
Ignore them and walk away – that's your best bet. All they want is attention.
If someone is bullying you, it still is bad if you bully them back. Remember, two wrongs don't make a right.

http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Bullies

• As an individual, what can I do to tackle bullying at work?

Step 1: regain control

Recognise what is happening to you as bullying - it is the bully who has the problem, which he or she is projecting on to you.

Criticisms and allegations, which are ostensibly about you or your performance and which sometimes contain a grain (but only a grain) of truth, are not about you or your performance. Do not be fooled by that grain of truth into believing the criticisms and allegations have any validity - they do not. The purpose of criticism is control; it has nothing to do with performance enhancement

Criticisms and allegations are a projection of the bully's own weaknesses, shortcomings, failings and incompetence; every criticism or allegation is an admission by the bully of their misdeeds and wrongdoing, something they have said or done - or failed to do.

You may be encouraged to feel shame, embarrassment, guilt and fear - this is a normal reaction, but misplaced and inappropriate. Guilt and fear are well-known as tactics of control. This is how all abusers, including child sex abusers, control and silence their victims.

Step 3: take action
Keep a log (journal, diary) of everything - it's not each incident that counts, it's the number, regularity and especially the patterns that reveal bullying.
With most forms of mystery, deception, etc it's the patterns that are important.
The bully can explain individual incidents but cannot explain away the pattern. It's the pattern which reveals intent.

http://www.bullyonline.org/action/action.htm

• Definition of bullying:

Bulling is conduct that cannot be objectively justified by a reasonable code of conduct, and whose likely or actual cumulative effect is to threaten, undermine, constrain, humiliate or harm another person or their property, reputation, self-esteem, self-confidence or ability to perform

Persistent, offensive, abusive, intimidating or insulting behaviour, abuse of power, or unfair punishment which upsets, threatens and/or humiliates the recipient(s), undermining their self-confidence, reputation and ability to perform

What's the difference between bullying, harassment and assault?
bullying tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time

What triggers bullying?
Bullying may be unwittingly provoked because the target is competent, popular, successful, has integrity or otherwise characteristics that the bully perceives as a threat to their own status, fearing that the target will - inadvertently or deliberately - expose some negative aspect of their activity

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm#definition_of_bullying

• Bullying vs Mobbing

Bullying suggests a physically belligerent, hostile, overbearing individual, usually a manager, who takes pleasure in lording it over one or more subordinates. Mobbing connotes a number of ordinary workers at whatever level who unfairly gang up on a manager, peer, or subordinate, tormenting the person in usually nonviolent ways.
http://www.kwesthues.com/bullyingvsmobbing.htm

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oil with sunflower oil and let it dry.this can apply to all wooden kitchen tools to give a nice look.

defrost

The juicy rib-eye steaks you picked up a few weeks ago have been sitting in your freezer, just waiting to be grilled. Tonight, you plan to fire up the barbeque and do just that.
But first, you’ve got to defrost the steaks.
Some approaches to thawing food, like leaving it on the counter all day, are unsafe and can cause illness.

1. Refrigerator Thawing
This is certainly the easiest method for defrosting frozen food — just stick it in the fridge and wait until it’s thawed.
A major advantage of refrigerator thawing is that you don’t have to cook the defrosted food right away — especially helpful if you’re faced with a last-minute change in plans
Poultry, fish and ground meat that’s been defrosted in the fridge can be kept for an additional 1 to 2 days in the refrigerator before cooking
If you decide not to cook the thawed food, you can safely refreeze it within these same time limits.

2. Cold Water Thawing
it’s much faster than refrigerator thawin
To thaw the food, submerge the bag in cold tap water. Never use hot water, as that can cause the outer layer of the food to heat up to a temperature where harmful bacteria begins to multiply.
Once the food is thawed completely, you’ll need to cook it immediately.

3. Microwave Thawing
the speediest method of defrosting food.
Set your microwave to the "defrost" or "50 percent power" setting while thawing to ensure that the outer edges of the food don't become cooked while the remainder is still frozen
If you're defrosting a package of meat, poultry or fish that is in pieces, separate them as the food thaws
If you use the microwave thawing method, you’ll need to cook the food immediately after it’s thawed
Once you’ve cooked the food, you can safely refreeze it if you like.
http://www.stilltasty.com/articles/view/9

Many people are aware of the dangers of raw meat and the illnesses it can cause
If meat is not defrosted correctly, bacteria can multiply fast and then the food becomes dangerous.

1- Defrost meat in the refrigerator where the temperature is always at or below 40 degrees Fahrenheit (4 degrees Celsius).
Place wrapped or covered meat on a dish to catch any raw juice runoff.
Defrost the meat for a full 24 hours
Cook ground or stew meat and poultry within 2 days of thawing for refrigerator defrosting.
Cook other meats such as pork, beef, steaks and roasts within 3 to 5 days of thawing.

2-Defrost meat using cold water for a faster method of thawing.
Place the meat into a leak-proof plastic bag. A leak in the bag could compromise the safety of the food, leading to bacterial growth
Submerge the bag with the meat in cold water and change the water every 30 minutes. The frozen meat will decrease the temperature of the water, slowing the thawing process if the water is not changed.
Cook the meat immediately.

3-Defrost meat using the microwave for the quickest method of thawing meat.
Remove all packaging and place unwrapped meat on a microwave-safe plate
Cook the meat immediately after thawing in the microwave
Do not store for later cooking.
http://www.wikihow.com/Defrost-Meat


Microwave Thawing
Cons: The most obvious is that microwave thawing can partially cook your meat, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing
But it does mean you have to use the meat immediately after you thaw it, to prevent bacteria from proliferating in warm spots
You also need to pay attention to the packaging, say our food-safety experts.
“Some packaging will melt when exposed to a hot product, or to the steam generated during the heating process,” they add
In addition, the foam trays on which most meat is sold may emit a cancer-causing chemical called styrene when heated.
Take the meat off the foam tray and put it on a plate, to prevent exposure to chemicals that may be lurking in the foam or the plastic wrap.

Plan ahead next time. Refrigerator thawing is the safest defrosting method, and you can even store refrigerator-thawed meat in the fridge for up to five days before cooking it.
http://www.rodalesorganiclife.com/food/thawing-frozen-meat-hurry